Missing You

My heart aches for 10 days when my husband is not with me. Aching is such a random “feeling” to describe but it aches in so many ways.

The ache of missing, wanting that touch, that beautiful kiss, the embrace of a hug after a long day of work.

The ache of security, checking the front door is locked before bedtime, getting up in the middle of the night to check on a suspicious noise. Answering the door when it is dark outside.

The ache of continuity, like having him walk through the door at the same time, mowing the lawns, talking to me face to face, the cute slap of the bum as you pass in the corridor.

The ache of love. His touch, embrace of a hug and kiss, the protective feeling you get when you are just centimetres apart.

I hardly laugh when my husband is away, well, until I speak with him on the phone and we can share stories of our day and enjoy that connection be it ever so brief.

I look forward to his return. I count the sleeps, he doesn’t like that until we are atleast on two sleeps to go, but every night I mentally tick of the next sleep before he is coming home, he is my everything, my laughter, my rock, my handyman and best of all my friend,

The reason for tonight’s post is because I just rang my grandma, she is my grandma by second marriage and unfortunately my grandpa passed away last year. but she of course remains a granny of mine and living in Australia it daoes take more effort and planning to communicate.

We chatted for 30 minutes, no concern on the cost of the call and just enjoyed each others stories of my grandpa, she talked about how he just accepted her for her, took on her life, her child, her marriage break up and how he tried to always make everything better for her.

I talked about how grandpa always tried to understand how my generation didn’t stay in the same job for the rest of your life. How he never judged, never passed comment unless comment was due and how he always made you feel important.

I’m sad I wasn’t there at the end of his life, he died 6 months after I had been back to the UK for my mums wedding. He told me the day mum got married to my amazing step father that he could finally feel peace for my mum and that he was so proud of her and that he could now die knowing she was happy.

The reason for this post tonight is to make you stop and think. Life comes and goes. Be thankful for who you have in it and how they enrich your life. My life is like a gold mine with my husband showing me the way forward. I couldn’t imagine my life without him, but yet there are billions of people every day living their lives with loves lost and we need to think about them when we get to (eventually) snuggle down with them at night and sleep peacefully knowing they are going to be there in the morning x

 

 

 

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